You ever experience nostalgia so strong that you have to step away right quick? That happened to me the other day. My fiancé, Ardail sent me the instrumental of 30 hours from Kanye’s Life of Pablo for his newest freestyle and it just took me back. Nostalgia is literally time traveling. It’s true that your memories don’t forget. But sometimes when you’re in those delicate seasons of solidifying your identity, those memories can pull you back. Sometimes you really do need one of those zappers from Men In Black. Disclaimer: Memories are a beautiful aspect of life but this is specifically addressing the times when they can be a hindrance.
I remember back in 2016 when The Life of Pablo and Drake’s Views came out. Everybody remembers the summer of 2016. We even went to the LOP concert and got the tickets to mosh under Kanye’s stage.
It was an experience that I barely remember but I’ll never forget. I thought I’d never get that level of litness when I rededicated my life. But I was wrong. I joined the praise team and the concerts we have on stage feel like……we are crime mob rapping “Knuck If You Buck” but via the Holy Spirit. It’s out of this world. Shout out to the Center for Manifestation.
Or when I listen to Nothing Like His Presence. Sometimes It’s still crazy to me that giving God the glory will have you feeling drunk…It’s the best feeling EVER.
We have this thing called Throwback Thursday on social media which we all know about. I realized that looking back at pictures sometimes will have you reminiscing on people and seasons who you not even called to anymore. Got you reminiscing on a lifestyle before Christ that doesn’t even fit anymore.
I remember I was in the last semester of my junior year at Howard University. Happy Hours all week, almost everyday, never leaving the crib without being crossfaded (wine and weed to be exact). Eyes low and feeling invincible to small talk; I was depressed and cool. All I cared about was getting through my junior year, cool internships, falling in what I thought was love and looking as cool as I could. This was my mindset and the music just added to everything. So that’s why when I listen to 30 Hours or Life Of Pablo in general it takes me back. Or when I listen to Brent Faiyaz’s Sonder Son from 2018, it takes me back to Grad school in New York, riding the subways to class and shoots. But I don’t really want to go back that’s why I don’t stare or listen to old videos too long. Find myself hating and comparing myself to the old me. Why would I go back? Knowing all that God has done for me and delivered me from.
He can only use your past against you because he is not all knowing and doesn’t know your future. He just knows that when you lock into who God has called you to be, you’re gonna be a force to be reckoned with…. At this point, I’m casting down those toxic memories, getting rid of relationships that were connected to the old toxic me and saying who I am in Christ. You have to renew what your mind as Romans 12:2 says because you can’t change a memory but you can change the way that you react to a memory when it’s triggered.
Literally tell the enemy….
Don’t go back I swear it’s not worth it! Keep moving forward! You’re not a has been, you’re a “forever becoming” with a perfect spirit when you are in Christ.
If you haven’t accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior here’s how you do that: Romans 10:9 because if you acknowledge and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord [recognizing His power, authority, and majesty as God], and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
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