This Ones For The Girls: 28 Lessons I’ve learned in 28 Years of Living
December 23, 2022
As my 20s are coming to an end and 30s are around the corner, there’s so many things I’d tell my younger self and honestly any girl in their 20s. Guys can learn from what I’m about to say too…
Your 20 somethings can be a beautiful, ugly, wonderful, trying, crazy, FUN….VERY FUN, Chaotic, evolving time. Somebody cue 20 Somethings by SZA plz. I just want you all to know everything ends up working out.
I remember my freshman year of college…I was 18, living in DC, a city that I had no family in; just trying to grow up and keep my neck above water while trying to figure out who the heck I was.
Before I changed my major (which I did 4 times) I was in Howard’s marketing program. I remember one day they were doing a panel discussion and this young lady told us “Things work out. Don’t worry.” And while that statement was nothing out of the ordinary, it was just something that stuck with me. It was God reminding me way back then “All things are working for your good.” I don’t remember who that girl was but thank you sis. We all need to hear that it’s going to work out.
So many situations, I’ve gone through and I’m like “Yo let me share this wisdom because somebody needs it.” So that’s what I’m doing.
Life is short and is hell without the true & living God. I’ve tried it without Him and ultimately you end up empty and with no promise of eternal life. So literally hell.
The opinions of man? See what I realized is, no one in this world can do it like you because you’re the only you. The bible tells us in Psalm 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Go for it sis.
The guy you’re sending nudes, posting on IG wishing and hoping he sees, posting for, shooting subliminals about…most times is not your husband. Lust ain’t what’s going to get or keep the King God has for you. It’s a trap of the enemy. Chile, I trained my eyes and my body to be “appealing” for all these random ninjas. But My husband found me. And he was already who God chose. So really I wasted a lot of time searching for one. It lead to a lot of heart break and unnecessary feelings being hurt. Funny I just saw this guy I dated in high school and still had dealings with in my 20s. I thought we were going to get married. It was toxic and I was the one who initiated the relationship…that was not my husband, I gave myself to people who were never even supposed to see my most vulnerable self.
I lived in DC, Maryland, New Rochelle for a summer, and went to grad school in NYC…GET AWAY. It changed my life because I was able to see different cultures, infrastructure, work in different arenas…. Travel. Travel regularly. God created this whole world and made it to explore. DO IT.
I’ve had my time with that stupid thing we know as depression and by the grace of God, He delivered me. Now I seek holistic ways for me to stay away from it. Therapy. podcast. checking in with friends. etc. WORSHIP.
Don’t spend it. You’re not rich. I plotting to get a Brazilian Buttlift with mine but it didn’t work out thank God.
I remember I maxed out my first credit card on mink lashes and gas. My cousins were like “Evan, you don’t have to pay.” I was like ‘Nah I’ma put it on my credit card.”
Trust me.
It’s just not pleasing to God. The bible tells us to let every word uplift and edify. (Ephesians 4:29) and ultimately it deflates your self esteem when you gossip.
I’m still mastering this ….but it will save your life.
It’s that spark…that little person that you never need to forget. If you were an artist from an early age, do that. If you were the kid that talked too much in class because you had so many brilliant thoughts and opinions…that’s something special. NEVER LET LIFE DIM YOUR FLAME.
Remember there are certain people for certain seasons and reasons. When their season and reasons are up…let them gooooooooooooooooo.
Love is the secret sauce. It’s your greatest weapon. Love God with all your heart. Love yourself. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Again love yourself. Love your enemies and pray for them.
Don’t be lukewarm in any way. Shoot, God doesn’t even like you being lukewarm. If you gone do it, do it.
Bruh all of the answers to life in some way, shape or form are in the Bible. That is how you grow in relationship with Jesus, who is the Word of God.
Your voice matters. Your “No” matters.
Let it shine for the world to see.
In whatever order you want. But this is your life line. ON GOD.
Get your Pap smears. Take your vitamins. You change over time and you want to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself especially your lady parts.
It’s okay to be a student. It doesn’t mean you’re not smart.
Wisdom is wisdom. Older people and mentors are like a treasure that won’t be here forever. Take advantage of learning from the wise while you can.
If you have no one that you’re accountable to, you’ll be out here just doing you and not progressing and sinning.
Sometimes yall aren’t friends…you’re just trauma bonding. “Girl, you’re depressed? Me too! Let’s drink together.”
It’s a strong hell no for me.
Thank me later.
Comparison is the trap of the enemy.
Man for the ladies that want to be married…this is one of the keys to having a successful Godly marriage. Honor. Respecting your husband and treating him like a King even when he’s wrong.
“I’m with ya when you right.” No baby you gotta be with that man when he’s wrong too. Bitterness and attitudes get you out of the ark of safety of your covenant.
Unforgiveness is a death sentence waiting to happen. If you don’t forgive, God can’t forgive you. So love and forgive.
Things are working for your good. I promise you. Don’t stress. Don’t worry. Enjoy the process and don’t rush things. Please just chill.
According to Romans 8:28. “All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
Photographer: Xavier Luggage circa 2019
Creative direction and styling by Naveszn
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