Real Black Love Stories

February 14, 2019

Love is patient. Love is kind. They say that Love is that one feeling, whose beauty you cannot put into words. It’s that feeling that’ll make you day dream for hours. It comes in so many shapes and sizes. When you come together to share this love bond, they say it’s a feeling of wholeness. Experiencing the love of a partner will come to each of us at least once in this lifetime. When it’s real, it won’t only start from your toes and make you wrinkle your nose, but you’ll feel it in your soul.

I love watching couples just being couples. From holding hands to a kiss on the cheek or  a simple touch to let the other feel their presence. That is so beautiful to me. I can’t wait to experience that for myself. It’s been a while but I learned that waiting is better than sacrifice.

Everyday on social media, we see something about the sacrifices that people take for what they think is love. Having to openly struggle over their significant other in front of an audience should not be our norm. Other toxic traits that we are conditioned to tolerate within relationships are simply false narratives.

I wanted to show some realistic, modern Black Love stories. I gave you their stories from each partner’s perspective because most times we only hear one story. I wanted to show the two halves coming together as a whole. I hope you feel the love while reading.

Jordan and Deja 

Deja’s Half

“We started out as friends during our sophomore year of high school (2012). We both were dating other people at the time, but neither of us were happy with the people we were with. We would complain to each other about our boyfriend/girlfriend. We began talking more and more as friends and he was super easy to talk to. All the while, I never thought of him as anything more than a friend. We eventually broke up with those people and my best friend brought it up to me that she thought we were perfect for each other because we had a lot in common. I still wasn’t interested lol. But I gave him a chance anyway and we started talking and it was great until Valentine’s Day rolls around. We both got each other gifts BUT he decided that he felt bad for his ex (because she was crying about being alone or something idk) and he wanted to GET BACK WITH HER!

I was so embarrassed and upset because I felt like I got played; I was the one who wasn’t even interested at first! Ugh so anyway, that lasted for maybe a week and he apologized to me and said he wanted us to try again. At this point I’m just like wtf no. My best friend thought I should give him another chance but I wasn’t having it, it literally got to the point where she made a song about how I should give him a chance! So I gave in, reluctantly. About a month later we started dating (March 11, 2013) and have been together ever since. I went to school at USF in 2014, and he decided he was going to join the Marine Corps and left for boot camp in 2015. That same year we decided to get married—secretly because I knew my family wouldn’t approve because we were only 18. We did long distance for a year until our families found out and I moved to North Carolina with him in 2016. I was definitely scared to be starting this new life in a new state where we knew no one. We made the best of it, and welcomed our first child in 2018. Next month we’ll be celebrating 6 years together. There’s definitely been hard times and I think we’ve managed to get through them all because we’ve always had such a good friendship.

If Jordan were a cake, what kind would he be?

Red velvet for sure,it’s my favorite and it’s the cake I make the best.

Jordan’s Half

“Deja and I met our sophomore year of high school and only knew each other as friends. Our junior year we became really close friends but were both in toxic relationships. We would always complain about the people we were with and broke up with them about the same time. We started dating not too long after that and we knew we had something special. We always talked about how we would elope. We both knew that we wanted to marry young and start a family. Our senior year our relationship became a lot more serious because we had to make major life decisions about college and what we would have to do to stay together. We both turned down full ride scholarships because we thought it would be difficult for us to be together at different colleges. After graduating high school I decided to join the Marine Corps while Deja went to college at USF.

After three months of being at boot camp I came home for 3 weeks and after the first week Deja and I decided to get married. We were secretly married for a whole year because we were both 18 and we knew our families wouldn’t approve. Now it’s four years later and we’re still just as in love as when we got together. We have truly become a team over the six years we’ve been together and we continue to work at our marriage everyday. We welcomed our baby boy into the world 5 months ago and are so grateful for the little family we’ve made.

Give me a five word sentence that describes your love with Deja.

Teamwork makes the dream work. Cliche but that’s what really helps our relationship.

Simple piece of relationship advice from both:

One word of advice would be to know your partners love language, that made a huge difference for us.  If you’re not willing to compromise you’ll never have a successful relationship.

Their Instagrams are @jor_mf_dan and @deja_likethevu

 Cashmeir and Jalisa

Cashmeir’s Half

When we first met each other I was working at a job that I had been at for a while, and at that point being assigned to help and train others. The week we met I was so sick. I could barely breathe. She was introduced to me from a mutual friend as my new trainee for the week. From the first time I saw her I knew she would be my first-last relationship, for about three days straight I couldn’t stop thinking about this smart, sweet, sexy girl that I got to see everyday. I think the highlight of my day was when she was walking towards me to sit down and train.  I flirted daily, still sick as hell & barely breathing. By the last day I was coming home everyday with Jalisa as the topic of my discussions.

Everyday after that when I saw her I went out my way to make sure that I spoke and I complimented her to let her know I was interested! One day I finally asked for her number and from there we spoke everyday non stop and have been together since.

What’s a funny moment in your relationship that made you fall in love with Jalisa all over again?

It would be just recently when we went out together, which we always do because she’s my best friend. I couldn’t imagine it any other way. But we were out & a song comes on that I don’t know because, of course, it’s Tampa-Florida music. She just busts out doing the dance. Full out! It was the funniest thing to me because the things I would never do, she does. She doesn’t care what anybody says or feels. I just stared at her in love & so happy to just see her be herself. She does what makes her happy and she’s always herself no matter the crowd. That’s what made me fall in love with her and in that moment, I fell in love with her all over again

Jalisa’s Half

I was the new top sales junior rep in the company I had just started working for at the time. I was so eager to learn how to make more money. I needed a new car in the next three months (Graduation time) so I knew I wanted to take advantage of the on-the-job training. So I kept coming into work early to have more time to make sales and to get time to train senior reps (top sales employees). My best friend was a trainer and I had seen a girl’s name at the top of the stat report for the past three days. So I asked him to schedule a shadow so I could introduce myself and hopefully seek peer mentorship. I was impressed because this girl was making money money! So he walked me to Rep. Cashmeir Littles (my girlfriend) and we talked in between calls about everything like where she was from, what she was going to school for and how long she’s been with the company. I thought she was dope, so confident and informative. I thought it was so sexy. The next week she told my trainer she liked me and wanted to get to get know me. The next week we exchanged numbers in the parking lot after work and the rest is history. My life hasn’t been the same since.

What’s a funny moment in your relationship that made you fall in love with Cash all over again?

Cash was absolutely terrified to meet my family! Due to me having a horrible ex relationship prior; that just did not go well with my family. So Cash really wanted to set a good impression. I thought it was so cute! She pre-planned everything down to the itinerary, outfits, hair and stay. Most adults don’t care to make a grand impression in our time of day when dating, especially lesbian relationships. Yet, my family is very open to my sexuality. But it was my mom’s birthday, so we drove down to Tampa. I could tell she was nervous as we were walking up to the front door. She was taking deep breathes and giving herself pep talks out loud. She cared so much and I loved it. My family absolutely loves her.

Simple piece of relationship advice from both:

Every couple should be as honest as they would want their partners to be towards them.

Their Instagrams are @jalisa_lockamy and @_iamcash

Khalil & Jaquan

Khalil’s Half

He’s my college sweetheart! Our love story started in college. I’ll never forget seeing him for the first time leaving our dorm hall. He was a junior RA (resident assistant) and I was a freshman. I remember locking eyes with him for the first time as I was walking up to the dorm and he was walking out. I promise he even smirked at me. It was the cutest. I never thought we would be where we’re at now after us first seeing each other. Fast forward… let’s just say he hopped in the DM’s, and the rest is history. He was my first real boyfriend and he made me feel like no one else did. He is the sweetest and nicest guy ever (most of the time). I fell in love.

Second semester comes around… we didn’t make it. I broke up with him. I just think it was bad timing. I was a freshman and he was a junior and we were in two different mind frames.

Throughout college we always stayed in touch and hung out from time to time. He did his own thing and so did I, but we both secretly knew we wanted each other. It’s almost like we avoided getting together again to avoid more hurt and to experience others. Weird I know, but we never lost contact with each other. He graduated, I was there. I graduated, he was there. Love! Everything is love with him. We are both Beyoncé fans, so I knew he was a keeper. After some years of growing and having our experiences, we reconnected after I finally graduated. He knew he wanted me, and I knew I wanted him. Not to mention we have gone through some true ups and downs, but what relationship doesn’t.

I moved to Los Angeles and he still lived in Maryland. We made it work long distance, which was the test before he finally moved to LA. I knew if we could make it long distance, it would be worth really starting over as true grown-ups. Fast forward he’s in LA now and we’re officially together. He just makes me so happy to be honest, and my family loves him as well. Honestly, that’s all I can ask for.

If I had $100 to spend on Jaquan:

We both love food so I would probably spend it on a great upscale restaurant and have a fantastic meal while enjoying one another.

Jaquan’s Half

I knew that he would be mine when I first laid eyes on him. It’s like I picked my own fate and future with him. I was a junior engineer student in college and first saw him in my academic building during his freshman orientation. I was immediately intrigued by him, he was just so gorgeous to me. I knew I had to have him. Turns out he was also staying in the residence hall that I was a Resident Assistant (RA) in. I told my best friend all about “this cute lil freshman” that I saw on campus and I was going to try to talk to. I somehow found him on Instagram (maybe being a creep and doing investigative searching). Fast forward a couple of weeks into the first semester, I slid into his DMs one weekend after we both went on a liking spree on each other’s pictures. We later hung out, and the rest was history. We immediately fell for each other and after much patience, I eventually made him mine. Of course we had some issues during the course of the relationship, what relationship doesn’t. We began to experience issues that seemed to be inevitable with me being a junior and him being a freshman. I often thought that maybe I pressured or rushed him into getting into a relationship with me considering that he had just started college and didn’t really know who or what he wanted out of another guy or relationship. It eventually became too much for him and he broke up with me, the heartbreak of my life. I begged him to not end us and threatened that we would never talk again if we broke up. But that was one of the best decisions we made in our relationship. We needed time to grow and mature, experience others, learn how to handle a relationship, know what we do/don’t want, get all of our “hoeness” out, etc. But with the time we needed apart, we never stopped communicating with one another. I was in three other relationships after he broke up with me and we always managed to keep our communication intact. We tried being friends, lowkey intimate lovers, cordial, all the above; but it all lead us back to being together. I graduated and moved away to start my career while he was still in school. We always supported each other and were always there when needed. After my previous relationship ended, we both agreed that we were ready to stop playing and just be with each other. We vowed to be faithful to one another and try to make things work until we reunite again. We were living in two different time zones and risking a lot. I knew that this time things would be perfect! We’ve been through so much in the 5+ years that we’ve known each other. So much love, heartache, happiness, laughter, great sex, angry times; all these and more. I knew that I had to make it work with this guy, with whom after 5 years has stuck by my side after all of the hurt I’ve cause him. We were both weirdly still deeply in love with each other. Our long distance commitment turned out to be a success and shortly after we were living in the same city and state, I decided to make him mine again. This time is so much better. We are more mature and know how to love each other now, we know how to deal with one another. I wouldn’t change anything about our love story because it has made our bond even stronger over time.

What is one thing that makes you smile really hard when you think about your boyfriend?

Seeing him smile. He hates to smile in pictures or in general. But when he does his fat cheeks puff up and he has the cutest dimples. It makes me so happy to see him smile and laugh. I’m constantly thinking of ways to keep him smiling daily.

Simple piece of relationship advice from both:

Have lots of sex! When you’re mad with each other, have sex. When you don’t know how to communicate, have sex. When you’ve had a long day and don’t know what tomorrow holds, have sex.

Haha! Always communicate with your partner. The most difficult conversations are the ones that make the relationship stronger. When you’re able to be completely vulnerable with your partner and tell them any and everything, you know that you have a keeper.

Leaving old baggage out of the relationship. Bringing up old baggage and things from the past is the quickest way to set your relationship up for failure. Don’t do it!

Their Instagrams are @khalilleonee@smiley3nt

Happy Valentines Day to everyone!

Remember that just because you don’t have a Valentine does not mean that you are not loved. Tell a friend or even your family that you love them. Your time is coming and when it comes it’s going to be great. Have an amazing holiday!

XOXO 

Author: Nave Sizon

Founder of Naveszn.com - I'm a FL native, a Howard and Columbia grad and a creator of many things. As a polymath, I do so much. I care about so many things. Naveszn.com was the perfect tool to utilize my gifts and my love for highlighting the talents and stories of black people and culture.

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Author: Nave Sizon

Founder of Naveszn.com - I'm a FL native, a Howard and Columbia grad and a creator of many things. As a polymath, I do so much. I care about so many things. Naveszn.com was the perfect tool to utilize my gifts and my love for highlighting the talents and stories of black people and culture.