What a blessing…I’ve been trying to figure out the words for this story. But all I can say is this has been the most grown I’ve ever had to be and I’m realizing that may life is just so good and panning out to be exactly what God intended in the beginning.
All photo credit to Kaiteritchi, the sweetest and coldest photographer…Y’all give her some business. She’s awesome. Click her name for her info.
So we found out we were pregnant in February. I remember I thought my period was coming on and turns auntie packed her things and left town. I remember thinking, “Okay God so we’re doing this….meaning we’re actually going to be raising a child because we’ve been doing the ‘secs'” (LOL) Y’all might laugh but I vividly remember hearing God’s voice say…
I told my husband and he just kind of chuckled as he usually does. But literally….I’m like…
We just got married November 11th, 2021 and are still learning each other but this has genuinely been the funniest, craziest ride of my life. I love my husband so much. That’s my priest and the head of my household right there!
First of all, I could’ve sworn it was still 1999, me in B&D aka Big & Dirty grocery store on Millennium’s Eve with my grandma trying to figure out if it was the end of the world or not. Was I not just waving bye to Ardail as he left McDonald’s in his mom’s car back in high school? It is honestly so crazy that I am growing the next generation on the inside of me. It feels empowering to know I’ll have my own little human who I’m teaching things to and discipling them in Christ. He will have more than I had. I just can’t wait to meet him. (Yes I can) But I feel him kicking and moving on his little routine and I talk to him. Sometimes I let him do his lil thing.
Picture Credit to Von.co
We’re just now beginning to set up Edan’s room. I think I also attribute this to me only showing at 4months. We laugh because I definitely have been pregnant most of 2022 but only showing since late April-early May. I’m excited for our pumpkin sugar sweets.
I think there’s only so much preparation. I’ve been speaking to people about what I need to put on our registry and what we need to be prepared for. But one of my friends is like “Yeah, most people will tell you what works for them. But there’s only so much you can do to prepare.” Another friend was like “Girl, diapers and wipes.” Everybody has a unique experience. We want to have a water birth but right now I’m on track to have him at the Hospital. We have insurance but it’s still a grip for a young couple but we know God is doing supernatural things and our birth will be beautiful and carefree like our wedding. Spiritually prepared, I believe so. I keep worship, prayer and reading my bible as a mandatory thing to start my day and during it. God speaks to us and all things are working for our good.
GRITS. Last week I’ve been going to Golden Crust for veggie beef patties and cabbage. In the beginning, I wanted french fries but eventually they made me feel like they were my worst enemy. There was a time where I just wanted some grouper and rice. One week, I REALLY wanted Chipotle because I saw someone eating it on Instagram. It hit every time; well except when I warmed it up with the day old sour cream. Never a good idea for me. At one point all I wanted was an Impossible Whopper. And….ICE. Give me the large cup of ice from Wawa and we good. I’m sure it’ll be different this week. (LOL)
Lastly bread and sweets has been my worst enemy. The other night I heard the Holy Spirit say don’t eat the croissants on the table and I ended up eating one. It tasted funny but me being me I’m like “it’s okay.”
It honestly has been the cutest with symptoms enough to empathize with another pregnant girlie. I did have the morning sickness and tiredness. But it was in the beginning. I still have heartburn from time to time. I haven’t been too moody. I’ve had a couple of episodes but I believe because of my dedication to having emotional control, it has helped me a lot to recognize that I control my hormones, my hormones don’t control me. I don’t care what nobody says. I love my body. I love being pregnant honestly.
Okay listen it’s about to get real. My digestive system just started moving slow. All of a sudden I just got….constipated. I’m a pooper, okay? So this almost sent me into a frenzy. Going 5 days without pooping…since when?! Since 12 weeks, I’ve started a poop log. (LOL) I’m not sure why no one told me that pooping 1x every blue moon and constipation was a thing during pregnancy. I could fill this whole article about how my BM experience has been nothing “butt” a drag. (I’m cracking up at the transparency) But I’ll spare the details.
Except for that one time I thought I was going to have to call 9-1-1.
Sidenote: See I used to be my grandma’s caregiver; she’s 87 with Dementia and sometimes get’s constipated. I thought she was being dramatic but when your digestive system slows down and you need more water…it is in fact a nightmare. For those of you laughing, I would never wish this type of thing on my worse enemy. I reaped what I sowed for not understanding with granny. Okay I’m done.
Oh yeah, lastly, I used to have to ride with my head out the window because I hated all the smells my husband had on. I ended up threatening to throw his hair oils away. I put them near the trash and he snuck them back. I threw all of our candles away and essential oils are forbidden.
Outside of pregnancy, we’ve had to grow up fast. From changing jobs, adjusting with finances, adjusting to sometimes the uncomfortableness of pregnancy. (it’s inevitable to be a little uncomfortable) So pregnancy has added a fun element. And we’ve seen how we have to resolve things quicker because we want Edan to grow up in a mature, fun space. Hubby has also learned to be softer with me. Not even that he was hard but men are naturally less rounded around the edges than women. But belly rubs have increased. Adjusting to my body with sleep and secs (LOL) has been major. It’s been a beautiful journey of love and grace.
Again, the constipation. Why didn’t anybody tell me? Everything I’m good with. Get you a laxative girl. Don’t eat too much sugar because you open yourself to yeast infections (not fun). But even worse you can get Gestational diabetes. I don’t have this but these things keep me in check. You want to remain healthy. I cook everyday now and do my best to monitor what me and hubby eats.
Me and this belly been doing our lil thing, okay? I love my weight. I’d lost a lot of weight after rededicating my life to Christ. It was necessary. That sounds so funny. But foreal I was fasting. But I love this new weight. I’m still all belly but I love it here. And shout out to Shea Butter for keep the stretch marks away. LADIES SHEA BUTTER BEEN HOLDING IT DOWN.
I said this above. But I can still exercise emotional control. And it’s helped me so much. I have my moments where I cry but overall, I control my emotions, my emotions don’t control me. I’ve learned a different level of intercession and prayer for those around me. I am a warrior princess of Christ who was built for this. In my most vulnerable time, I’ve been able to see exponential growth in areas of my spirit, mind and even work/business. I can be soft and vulnerable but a workhorse too. I’m learning to say Yes and No. And I’m learning to ask for help. It’s helped a lot. That was something God told me would be a tool in my kit this szn; Asking for help.
I actually have a friend named Marley and Jude who are newly married and pregnant as well. We work together too so it’s been fun having someone who understands. Shout out to my mom who literally buys me comfortable dresses every chance I look. I’m not sure where I’d be without her. To my friend Farah , Brandy, Rebecca, Mrs. Cheryl, Mrs. Esther, Apostle, Lady Lisa, Pastor Rodney, Lady Fonda….literally so many people have helped me in this process. (Shout out to everyone I missed. I love you)
I’ve been going to counseling and anger management. Not because I’m violent haha but because I’d never learned where to place my anger besides on the inside.
I thought I had gas which in turn made me excited because for sure I’d be un-constipated soon after. Nope, it was just Edan kicking me in the intestines. But I absolutely love it. He has a little routine when he kicks. He’s awake during my worship time at 5am and if I wake up in the middle of the night, he’s up kicking. But I love it because it makes me even more excited to see what he’s going to be like.
Seeing his little personality. Dressing him in cool baby clothes. Laughing at his quirkiness. Crying at how adorable he is. Pretty much everything. And just sitting back with Ardail and seeing what God gave us.
Man. It’s at a new level. I’ve gained a deeper love for worshipping Him. I’m enthralled by His presence foreal. Going to meet Him every morning, I’m like how did I get by before this. How was I living before this? I love Him. He’s the lover of my soul. My beginning and end. My God. My Jesus. My Savior. Everything to me.
Ask me how I’m doing. Just know I’m happy.
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