If you know me, you know that 1. I love giving people a chance to shine and 2. I’m super optimistic (almost overly optimistic). I also think that one of the lessons that I have learned in life thus far is “Do not try new things for big occasions.” and “Never have super high expectations.” I never said don’t have high expectations; just not SUPER high because life happens and people are human. If you don’t learn anything else, please take this advice from me. Trying new hairdressers or someone you see your friends using may not work for you, sweetheart. The famous last words are “Oh my friend just ordered from there and got her stuff in 3 days! You’ll be fine!” or “Oh yeah, I go to her all the time to get my hair done.” and “Oh that’s ____ they gone hook you up!” Trust your gut and do your research, sis! Here are three times where my expectations were absolutely not met.
It was my senior year at Howard and Springbreak time. I remember I had gotten my bathing suits, tried to lose some weight, bought my outfits and everything else you do to get ready for Springbreak. So Boom! What was I going to do with my hair? (Which is always my biggest challenge) I had been growing my hair out from my shortcut. So I knew that I had the opportunity to have it braided down. I was between cutting it and going blonde or the Nicki Minaj braided ponytail. My hair was long enough to braid but I needed a seasoned braider who could grip it up.
My best friend @Kheeezus was getting her hair braided by one of our friends. So being the cheap college student that I was, I went with our friend. I knew this while fully knowing that I was going to need the fingers of glory to grip that teeny weenie inch long afro. But I was optimistic…I asked the girl how much she was charging and she said $100. I say “Ok.”Long story short, this is what I left with.
When I tell y’all, I literally cried walking from her house with that fuzzy, uglass hairdo. I got on the shuttle with my hood on and headed home. What made it even worse is that it was tight and ugly. I showed Khalia and by the end, I was crying from laughter. I also literally ran to the African braiding shop across the street. I got $50 of my money back. (I only asked for half back) This is the ending result.
Not too bad…
Let me start out by saying, if I was graduating high school in today’s times, there would be no competition. Stilettos on Necks. I slayed back then too, just not at the 3 proms that I went to. (So crazy) For my own prom, I tried to go different. I wanted to be elegant, bold and cost effective. I ordered my dress from AlifuckingExpress…so naive. I just remember someone telling me that it was ok to order from there. Or maybe I was just super optimistic about it. My dress did not come until the week of prom. Everybody else was getting fitted and planning for the weekend. I was sitting around like:
Finally it came in and it fit like a carton of milk. It doesn’t look that bad in the pictures but eh.
ALSO, I had a friend’s mom do my hair for the first time. Mistake #1323243. She bleached it and dyed it pink. I promise she sprayed at least half a bottle of Pump It Up on my hair and then layered it with glitter. I was so heartbroken.
To add gasoline to the fire, my shoes were a size too small. The individual eyelashes that I had done resulted in one of the lashes being glued to the position of poking me in the eye.
I still ended up being fairly cute and working with it though.
I always feel kind of bad for talking about this like I’m complaining. (Not really) As a senior at Howard, I was chosen as a fellow for the Columbia University’s Inaugural HBCU Fellowship program. LIT! It covered room & board, tuition, and travel in NYC. I’ll tell you about my experience at a later date. I had no idea that I’d be going to grad school, let alone Columbia, until the day before I graduated.
Fastforward. Everything is a go. They tell us that we’re living in a building named St. George in Brooklyn Heights. Brooklyn Heights is one of the most affluent neighborhoods in NY. It was two minutes away from DUMBO with the entire New York Skyline a minute away from where I was living. LIFE WAS GOING TO BE GOOD!
So Boom! “You all will be assigned roommates.” Ok not too bad, but what type of living space? “Dorm style.” Mind you, I’d lived 2 years with my own room and bathroom in an apartment. This was foreign to me. I had a quick flashback to the Q-U-A-D. (My Howard folk know what I’m talking about.) So I brace myself because it couldn’t be that bad. I mean look at the pictures of St. George’s common areas that I found…
Oh how naive. This is what the room actually looked like and we were not on the renovated side:
This was my actual reaction:
Lmaoo this black lady was so mad about her home makeover 💀💀😂💀 the white lady was all happy 😂🤦🏾♂️ pic.twitter.com/xS9Agun0Kc
— BlackEntertainment🗣 (@ILoveBeinBlack) May 21, 2018
Long story short, it was a struggle. ON TOP OF THE FACT THAT COLUMBIA WAS A 40 MINUTE TRAIN RIDE FROM WHERE WE LIVED. Our bathroom would also grow mold in it. It was low-key sad. But even through that, me and my roommate turned out to be the only surviving pair and actually good friends. She’s one of the funniest and smartest people that I know. And shout out to my other amazing friend Howard for letting his home be my home away from home during that rough time. #RealFriends
These experiences are funny and I’m glad that they all happened. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without learning moments like these. And I wouldn’t have some of the friends that I have. Life’s good.
Join the NAVEY and get updates delivered to your inbox every single month! Each story is lovingly designed and produced by me, Nave.